Category: Life

And so we say goodbye

nov 2, 2016
By astraccia@gmail.com

I love you, buddy And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet, Nibbler, who's gone to a place where I, too, hope one day to go. The toilet. File not found. Have you ever…

I’m going to remind

nov 2, 2016
By astraccia@gmail.com

Why did you bring us here? This is the worst kind of discrimination: the kind against me! I'm just glad my fat, ugly mama isn't alive to see this day. I had more, but you…

Tonight’s the night

ago 1, 2016
By astraccia@gmail.com

Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. I like seafood. I'm really more an apartment person. I'm generally confused most of the time. I'm Dexter, and I'm not sure what I…

With a warning label

maio 18, 2016
By astraccia@gmail.com

Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused. You're going…

Actually, that’s still true

abr 15, 2016
By astraccia@gmail.com

Really?! The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue…

Michelle, I don’t regret

mar 29, 2016
By astraccia@gmail.com

Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that's why I'm transferring to business school! This…

Doomsday Devices

jan 30, 2016
By astraccia@gmail.com

There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Stop it, stop it. It's fine. I will 'destroy' you! Why yes! Thanks for noticing. No, just a…

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